Le Boyf and I will celebrate our one-year dating anniversary March 19. To celebrate, all this month I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned this past year (trust me, there’s a lot).
Here’s what I’ve learned works best in a relationship:
Do things they love
Selflessness is so important. You’re to serve and love each other just like Jesus served and loved when He walked this earth.
Le Boyf has complimented me many times for doing things he loves, that make him feel loved and, in response, he wants to do things I love.
This is why they call it give and take, and why “give” comes first in that phrase. Give love and you’ll get love.
Why be with someone just to point out their faults? I never understood this.
Sure, you’re going to butt heads, but when you begin and continue dating someone, you should have a nice long list of all the things you love about them. Once you have that list, don’t hide it.
Share what you love about that person!
Lift them up verbally, but also in prayer. The world is a difficult place to navigate. Your significant other needs you to pray for them daily.
What’s your end goal?
Before you enter into a relationship, you should have an end goal. Are you dating just for fun? Or, are you dating to find the person you want to marry?
Have this conversation with the person you’re dating so you are instantly on the same page. We had this conversation early on and because of that, have looked at our relationship through the correct lens. You save yourself a lot of heartache and headache if you ask your partner and yourself “Why are you dating?”
Trust goes a long way
I’ve struggled with this one and after almost a year, I hopefully am getting better at this.
It’s hard to go from living and being on your own to now dating someone and letting him into your heart who has a chance (however slim) of breaking your heart.
Your past hurts can play a huge role in how you trust. But, you have to let go in order to be fully present in your current relationship.
For me, I have to get into the habit of rationalizing my trains of thought.
I haven’t been hurt by a guy in almost 2 years. Now, I’m with a man who doesn’t ever want to hurt me and loves and cares for me.
I was with guys who hurt me for less than 1 month (30 days) each, so why would I continue to act as if the man who has been in my life for 365 days is going to be like those others?
It doesn’t make sense.
He hasn’t shown any hurtful actions. He has continuously said he wants to make me happy and protect me. He’s been the greatest blessing in my life.
Knowing this, why would I punish him, tarnish his character with the actions others did 2 years ago when his actions are far, far better?
It doesn’t make sense to do that, does it?
When I rationalize my thoughts like that, I find I let my guard down a bit more and a bit more, letting those walls come down.
Are they your best friend?
Le Boyf is my absolute best friend. I can talk to him about anything, even if it’s nothing at all. I’m his best friend, too. If you can’t imagine your life without him or her, chances are you’re in a good spot.
Keep Christ at the center
When Jesus is at the center of your life and his, your spiritual journey has a way of entwining. I could go on and on about the grace of God being evident in both our lives. When we put Jesus in the center, our relationship is peaceful, joyful, and more fulfilling. Remember: Your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t fulfill your deep, spiritual needs. Only Jesus can do that. Keep Him in the center of your personal life so you can be a better man/woman and, eventually husband/wife one day.
Finally, always remember:
You’re still complete even if they leave.