Believing is seeing

It’s weird for me to have someone not blood-related who loves me the way I am.

“You’re perfect the way you are.”

“You look amazing.”

“You’re beautiful.” 

At least one of these phrases is said over me daily by Joshua. It’s hard for me to believe he’s telling the truth because of my own self-esteem issues since 3rd grade.

I mentally began to critique myself then and now it’s festered to where I can’t accept a compliment by a man who truly loves me.

I don’t believe those things about myself so why should he believe them?

The funny thing is, God Almighty has been speaking these words over my life since I was born.

He calls me wonderfully made, His creation, and if I’m His creation and He only creates what’s good, then I’m good.

I’m good physically just as I am. 

 I’ve strived all my life: to be more successful, a better person (whatever that term has meant in a variety of life stages), thinner, prettier, more popular, smarter…the list goes on. 

But if I have someone in my life who accepts me who I am, if I serve a God who sees me as HE made me to already be, then I suppose striving in this case is the equivalent of hitting the gas pedal as you’re in a ditch of mud.

I’m in this love and instead of exhausting myself trying to be better, maybe I need to start living as I am. 

If I’m not striving, I suppose all there is to do is live.

Sounds too simple, huh? Yeah, I’m still figuring it out.

In a world where busyness and reaching ‘the next level’ is celebrated, what would happen if we simply lived the lives God’s made for us in this moment, right now? 

I bet I’d love differently.

I’d spend my time differently.

I’d work differently.

I’d just live, focusing on those who love me for me in this life stage and forgetting all the static and noise of what society and others think I should be doing, how I should spend my time here on this earth.

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