10 Lessons Singlehood teaches


The word itself has become synonymous with negative connotations: Loneliness, never getting married, not dateable, lives with billions of cats (but, how is THAT negative?), unfulfilling life, and ultimately, dying alone (actually, everyone does this alone unless you’re one of those The Notebook couples).

All the fun, possibilities and independence that comes with being single have been swept up in a pan and thrown out, replaced with these awful and untrue words/statements.

Well this post is to combat all that.

If you’re single, by the end of this post, I would hope you have a better understanding in why being single is just as great as being in a relationship.

I’ve been single for 25 years, with the exception of a wonderful relationship with a guy a few months ago who I’m — truthfully — thinking about, praying about, and missing every single day since the day the relationship ended.

It’s rough. My heart can attest to that.

But, I was thinking about all of it one night: the relationship, him, being single before him and now, and I was talking to one of my girlfriends about relationships/guys/being single.

She asked a question that was the inspiration behind this post: How is this helping us grow? What lessons could we possibly learn from this?

1. Being single teaches how to trust God. 

When everyone around you on social media seems to be dating, getting engaged, or married, it’s easy for you to be envious. But, the longer you’re single, the easier it becomes to turn away from that envy and, instead, reinstate your trust in God. He’s led you this far and He’s working in the midst of your life.

2. Being single grows your faith. 

Just like point No. 1, when you’re reminded to trust in God, your faith grows a bit more. So you don’t have a significant other; that doesn’t mean you aren’t significant. It doesn’t mean your life is any less important. When you lean on God, you get stronger in your faith.

3. Being single teaches how to be your own best friend. 

If you’re single AND living alone, you know what I’m talking about when I say how important it is to learn to have fun on your own. Sometimes friends are busy. That’s when you have to create your own fun: go for a hike, go to the movies, take yourself out to dinner, get a pedicure, go for a drive with the windows down and the music blaring. Whatever “fun” looks like to you, do it.

4. Being single cultivates independence. 

You don’t have another person to encourage you, push you, or create new dreams with you. Parents and friends only go so far. Being single forces you to do what your heart tells you. Independence is vital if you want a fulfilling life on your own. And, really, you should want that. You deserve it.

5. Being single teaches patience.

Waiting can be hard, but the longer you’re single, the easier it is to wait. When you’re patient and a guy does come into your life, you can assess him with clear eyes because you’ve waited; you’re independent; your life is fulfilling and you don’t want to ruin that for one guy. Trust me. Your patience will save you from potential relationships that start beautiful but end in a mess. (Personally, I can think of 4 like that right off the top of my head that I was able to avoid.)

6. Being single teaches perseverance. 

Staying positive when it’s all too easy to throw pity parties is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned while being a party of one.

7. Being single reinforces values.

The stories you hear of your friends’ failed relationships filled with red flags, reinstate your values and what you hold dear/what you really want in a relationship.

8. Being single teaches appreciation. 

You’re not in a relationship with someone, but you’re breathing. You have food, shelter, clothing, community — the list goes on and on because you have already been infinitely blessed. When you feel as though you don’t have it all, look around because more often that not, you have everything you need.

9. Being single teaches you to love yourself. 

Since you’re not dating someone, you have to compliment yourself. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, talented, and wonderful, because you absolutely are. Loving yourself, for who God created you to be, is one of the most attractive things you could do for yourself.

10. Being single teaches how to live in the ‘now’. 

You don’t know what’s coming in 5 years, 10 years, or what’s going to happen tomorrow. Stop worrying when you’re going to get married and relish this single life. Go travel, work hard for promotions, laugh with your friends, go out dancing. Live your single life to the fullest because when you do get married and those days come up when the house is a wreck, kids are screaming, and the husband is stuck in traffic, you’ll look back on these single years and think, “Man, those days were awesome.”


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