12 Days of Christmas Movies

Here’s a list of 12 Christmas movies I’ve watched via Netflix Roulette — a game where you choose a movie based solely on cover and title.

I selected movies I never heard of before (like, did you know Swan Princess had a Christmas movie?!) to give myself an extra surprise. So, all those classics like “White Christmas,” “A Muppet Christmas Carol,” and “Love Actually” are not on this list, though they are lovely movies and you should definitely watch them.

Some of my Netflix selections were good, some were not-so-bad, and some were downright horrible. Here are the 12 I viewed:

 

12-Dates-of-Christmas-Poster1) 12 Dates of Christmas

Or ‘This Is The Day That Never Ends’

An ABC Family original movie and my first ‘corny Christmas movie’ selection. Cue Kate, a career woman who is desperately seeking her ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately (or so it seems to Kate), her stepmom sets her up on a blind date Christmas Eve. Cue Miles, her date, and watch him sizzle the scene with his good looks and charm. But his caring consideration for Kate goes unnoticed as she tries to get the meet-up done and over with so she can run after her ex. She ends the date (in spite of my screams from my couch) and goes galloping to her ex where she finds out he is going to PROPOSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND.

“Serves ya right,” I said as I crossed my arms. “Hurting Miles like that while he was being nothing but courteous…yes, go wallow.”

Lucky for her, she gets to relive Christmas Eve (first date with Miles AND encounter with ex) over and over again. It’s like Groundhog Day but with holly and carols.

3 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

91kZqZEznUL._SL1500_2) Swan Princess Christmas

Or ‘When Netflix Does Ya Dirty’

I had just finished watching ‘Sleeping Beauty’ that night and was in the mood for a nostalgic transportation back to my childhood via wonderfully, animated classics, which is why I selected this movie.

Unbeknownst to me, it was nothing like the original animated movie. I always thought Swan Princess was the underdog of animated princess movies and it was! A beautiful story, great characters, and Derek and Odette were just…Disney-quality without the title.

I snuggled down and hit play. Ten minutes into the movie, I regretted that decision. By the second song, my ears were bleeding. No, not literally. The animation is that weird we-want-them-to-look-real kind. But honestly, Derek and Odette look creepy and I’m now having Christmas nightmares. Whatever the animators did to their faces need to be reprimanded or fired or both.

Anyway, the plot. Rothbart comes back to life with the help of a cat named No. 9 (nine lives, get it?) to destroy Christmas. He can’t destroy D&O because they have “too much Christmas spirit”. Through a lot of painful dialogue and glass-shattering singing, he kidnaps Odette AGAIN and takes her back to the lake. Derek comes to save her, smashes his head on a stone, and that’s when she begins to sing. Her Christmas carol utterly destroys Rothbart for good (along with my ear drums and my appetite), awakens Derek, and saves Christmas. Call me a Scrooge but this movie tried a bit too hard.

1 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

a-christmas-kiss3) Christmas Kiss

Or ‘Why Is This Man’s Pout So on Point?’

Meet Wendy, a 20-something who dresses like a 17-year-old and dreams of being Boston’s top interior designer. Her boss, Priscilla Hall, is a calculating, rude, manipulative boss who preys on Wendy’s wide-eyed naivety. Wendy gets dolled up with her girls one night; one of her friends, a make up artist, does her makeup, transforming her into a glittery beauty queen (seriously, the girl looks like a QUEEN! YAAAS SLAY! OR…SLEIGH! :D). Before she gets to go out with her girlfriends, Priscilla demands she go to her apartment, turn on the heat and lights before she gets home. Wendy goes to her apartment, does what she says, and then gets stuck in the elevator with a gorgeous stranger — who just so happens to be Priscilla’s boyfriend Adam. They kiss and it’s Christmas magic.

Until the next day when Wendy finds out Priscilla wants her to decorate Adam’s house for Christmas. Wendy and Adam officially meet (they never exchanged names in the elevator because, you know, lip lock) but because she isn’t doused in body glitter and is wearing glasses, he doesn’t recognize her.

*Insert major side eye here*

Christmas decorating, lots of coffee, a carriage ride, and manic ploys by Patricia, all come together to deliver a pretty adorable movie.

DRINKING GAME: Every time Wendy’s friends urge her to tell Adam who she is, and she says “I can’t,” take a drink.

I can honestly say, I’ll watch this one again and it may or may not be because of Adam’s (Brendon Fehr) abs and chiseled jawline.

4 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

MV5BMTgwMTk5NjE4MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjU2Mzg3NQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_4) Christmas Cupid

Or ‘Chad Michael Murray did a Christmas movie?!’

Ya know those actors/tresses who strut around like everyone’s looking at them because there are cameras about? That’s how this movie starts out. Sloane, a publicist, seemingly has everything: the perfect job that is lined up for the dream promotion, great car, and a beautiful boyfriend. That is, until her client, starlet Caitlin dies and becomes her “Jacob Marley,” showing her the damage she’s done to her life and the people in it by never being content. She left the only man who truly loved her to be with a man who made millions but cheated on her. Through ghosts of boyfriends past, present, and future, Sloane realizes who truly is her Christmas love.

Though this movie started out rocky, it carved a soft spot in my heart.

2 out of 5 Christmas stars

 

MV5BMjMwMzAzMTY2NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTA1ODA2MDE@._V1_5) Christmas Crush

Or ‘Welcome Back to High School’

Georgia, a designer’s assistant, grapples with the irony that, though she was voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed’ in high school, she doesn’t consider herself successful. So, when her reunion rolls around, she goes on a hunt to win back her high school boyfriend, lie about her life, and laugh off her BFF Ben’s lovey-dovey eyes and admittance that he’s always loved her.

Seriously, all this chick does is laugh, suck in a lot of air, and then laugh again. Also, she completely destroys her reunion dress. We’re talking punch stains, dirt, and a high possibility of sweat stains.

Every character in this movie is perpetually stuck in high school, trying to be their teenage selves instead of embracing who they turned out to be, making you ask yourself “Will high school, and this movie, ever be truly over?”

2 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

MV5BMTQ4MTY5NDAwM15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTUwOTEwMjE@._V1_SX640_SY720_6) Happy Christmas

Or ‘When Netflix Roulette Takes A Dark Turn’

If you want an indie film about troubled young adults, drug use, and feminism conversations during the yuletide season, here’s your movie.

Anna Kendrick stars as a troubled 20-something woman who just broke up with her boyfriend and is now living in her brother and his wife’s basement. She does all the things: smokes weed, gets drunk, and nearly sets the house on fire Christmas Eve. She hooks up with a dealer and helps her brother’s wife get out of her writing slump to become the great novelist she truly is.

Sometimes the dialogue felt very much improvised because of all the pausing, backtracked conversations, which did get a bit dull and annoying after a while.

A great drinking game: Take a sip every time Kendrick says “like”. You’ll be drunk in 10 minutes.

2 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

MV5BMjI2MDYxMzc3NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjg2ODk3OA@@._V1_SX640_SY720_7) Christmas Angel

Or ‘I Don’t Have Enough Tears For This’

The most important thing you need to know: Tess from ‘Touched By An Angel” is in this movie and she denies it every time the children ask her, making you want to scream, “BUT TESS, YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!”

I digress.

Christmas Angel is a feel-good story about a girl who starts making wishes on an old Victorian house. When one of her wishes comes true, she sets off to find if there is a Christmas angel in the neighborhood. Cue Tess. That’s not her name in the movie, but we’re going with that. Tess is a retired singer with a beat-up past who doesn’t have much time on earth so she’s making good wherever and whenever she can. A love side story happens, children’s wishes are fulfilled, and your Kleenex box will, in fact, empty.

3 out of 5 Christmas stars  

 

MV5BMTkyNjY2MjA0N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTg0MDY5MQ@@._V1_8) Holiday in Handcuffs 

Or ‘Hello, body of Mario Lopez’

When I clicked on this and started watching the first five minutes, I dreaded the remaining hour and 24 minutes. However, as the movie progressed, I was engrossed not only in Mario Lopez’s signature dimples, boyish grin, and the fabulous way he fills out a sweater but also in the storyline.

In this movie, an aspiring artist who is, surprise! surprise!, the black sheep of the family kidnaps a man to take home to her mother when her boyfriend dumps her. I found myself rooting for Lopez to escape that crazy cabin, but when he resolves to make the family love him so it’s all the more satisfying when the police show up, I began to wonder how in the world they were going to fall in love. Because, let’s face it, that’s what happens when a guy is kidnapped by a psychotic woman and brought to a cabin in the middle of the woods.

Lopez’s girlfriend is the typical “Daddy’s Little Rich Girl” and is portrayed as a stuck-up priss, making his decision oh so easy as to whom he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Spoiler alert: He chooses his kidnapper. It’s clear he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome and it’s only a matter of time (we hope) after the credits roll, he realizes his mistake, flees from that woman, and sees a therapist.

3 out of 5 Christmas stars (mostly for his shirtless scene)

 

MV5BMTQ2MjkwNjg0OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDg3NTA2MDE@._V1_SY317_CR12,0,214,317_AL_9) Dear Santa

Or ‘If This Happened in Real Life, We’d Have Legal Action’

When New York City princess Crystal is threatened by her mother to either a) get a job or b) find a husband to support her, she goes on the search for the latter. Whether it’s by fate or a sign another Snowpocalypse is coming, a Christmas letter to Santa magically flies in front of her face. The writer wishes for a wife for her dad. Crystal then goes on a stalking search of the writer’s house, her dad, where he works, and does a seamlessly good job at weaseling her way into his life.

Her doe-eyed, high-pitched voice comes off as annoying at first but her fun-loving personality is kind of endearing. The cutest scene is when her DILF and she go snow plowing. No, that is not a sexual innuendo.

2 out of 5 Christmas stars  

 

TheMistletones-poster10) The Mistle-tones!

Or ‘Lip-Syncing Does Not A Singer Make’

ABC Family did a number with this one. Several, actually. If you like overly exaggerated facial expressions, diva moments, and Tia Mowry’s glowing smile, this movie, my friend, is for you.

Tori Spelling is the top Grinch of the Snow Belles, the No. 1 mall caroling group. When Holly (Tia M.) is snubbed a spot in the group her late mother started, she sets off to create her own, The Mistle-tones, and is determined to be the mall’s new caroling group. There’s snow, a cat named Bonkers, her hunky soulful boss, and enough cheesy Christmas song routines to get you laughing in spite of yourself.

2 out of 5 Christmas stars  

 

1A-holiday-engagement1) A Holiday Engagement

Or ‘I Wish OkCupid Worked This Well’

Hilary gets dumped by her lawyer jerk of a fiance, Jason, a couple of days before he’s supposed to meet her family. Rule No. 1: Have your boyfriend meet your family BEFORE you get engaged, please. Her hilarious best friend sets up an online dating profile for her to find a fake boyfriend to accompany her to Thanksgiving. Enter David: An adorable actor who is also mending a broken heart. They travel together and David — err, I mean, Jason — charms his way into the hearts of Hilary’s family members.

Her mother loves him because he’s a lawyer and will provide for Hilary so she doesn’t have to work. Everyone else thinks he’s sweet and just cute as a button! Hilary begins to fall in love with David and vice versa. Spoiler alert: Real Jason comes back and screws everything up.

5 out of 5 Christmas stars 

 

91tZv4lEC9L._SL1500_12) Christmas Bounty

Or ‘Let’s See How Many Jersey Stereotypes We Can Fit in One Movie’

Being a born-and-raised Jersey girl, I found this movie highly offensive, more so than MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”

All you need to know about this movie is that there are a lot of stereotypes: Boston-ish accents happening, gangsters (we’re in New Jersey, of course *eye roll*), leopard print belts, and references to Trenton (event though people from Trenton do not sound like that).

1 out of 5 Christmas stars

 

And, there you have it. 12 days. 12 Christmas movies. 12 reasons I should’ve gone Christmas shopping instead.

Let me know if you meander over to Netflix and check out one of these movies. Would love to know you think 🙂

 

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